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Here is a text message I sent:
Me: I SHOCK JUSTICE BREYER’S HAND AND GOT HIS AUTOGRAPH!

Here are some conversations I then had:
M.: Ahhhhhh! SO COOL!
Me: I ALMOST THREW UP ON HIM! I was all, hi this is the greatest thrill of my life please sign anything!
M.:Why didn’t he sign your boobs?
Me: He said no
M.:Then he missed the greatest thrill of HIS life.
Me: For serious.

Roommate: Where were you hanging out with Justice Breyer???
Me: We’re just best friends now. You know how it is.

G: Law geek
Me: I ALMOST THREW UP ON HIM

B____: Well I am going to assume you meant shook. not shock. But YAYAYAYAYAAY! THAT IS SO COOL.
Me: OMG I ALMOST DIED
(Later): B_____: I love you friend. Philly drunkl

So yeah, Justice Breyer and I are basically best friends. In that, I said lots of awkward things to him. And he was all, “nice to meet you.”
Also, some fellow law types made fun of me because I was shaking a little (A LITTLE) afterwards. Also also, someone asked me if the secret service guys were hot and I made something up (“Oh yeah, you know, men with guns and ear pieces what’s not to like blah blah”) but really I was thinking ‘JUSTICE BREYER WAS THERE WHY WOULD I NOTICE HIS SECRET SERVICE OR CARE IF THEY WERE HOT!? JUSTICE BREYER!’ For those of you who are wondering, yes, Justice Breyer is a 70something old white guy. I didn’t say I wanted to sleep with him. I just want to worship him from afar. You haven’t been to law school, you don’t understand! He writes words! And I read them! And they change how I have to do things!

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